Sri M – A Brief Life Sketch

Some call him a Yogi, some Baba, a Vedantin, or a Sufi, but he prefers to call himself just 'M'. He has discarded what he calls the 'outer shell of all formal religions'.

M was born in a moderately affluent and educated Deccani Muslim family in the capital of Kerala, Thiruvanthapuram. He had, along with his two sisters younger then he, an ordinary childhood. Like any other child of his age, he too was fond of listening to stories and his grandmother indulged him in her love. As is to be expected from a devout Muslim lady, the stories were of Prophet Mohammed and saints of that religion. Since he had not shown any precocity, either intellectually or spiritually, what kind of impact these stories had on him, no one can say – not even M himself. Nevertheless, as later events were to prove, they must have notched, albeit subliminally, some mark on his young, impressionable mind. Whatever be the reason, he was formed into the ready receptacle (upadhi) for the experience that was to come soon – an experience that is, in the light of hindsight, epiphanic in its import.

Meeting with the Master

The boy was just eight years old when he first met his Master. Having heard stories of angels coming down to bless Mohammed and other prophets and saints from his devout grandmother, he thought at first that it was an angel. He was frightened. Standing under the big jackfruit tree behind the house was an effulgent figure. The boy was rooted to the spot. The figure walked towards him. It was not an angel. The man in a white loin-cloth with long hair and sparse beard touched the boy on his shoulders and said in Deccani, "I am your teacher. You will not meet me for many years after this, you will have to first finish your studies. All the instructions, guidance and books you need will come to you. You will not be allowed to tell anyone about me until the time is ripe." With that he vanished. That was the first initiation. Two years later, while playing hide and seek, the boy experienced what may be described in yogic terms as Keval Kumbhak - the suspension of inhalation and exhalation. Bliss filled his heart, the breathing resumed in a few minutes. Soon he could get into it at will with a deep sigh. The bliss that he experienced convinced him that a greater world existed within his being a world of spiritual bliss. To all outward appearance he was just like any other boy except that he loved religious scriptures no matter of which religion, devotional songs and discussions on God, saints and sages.

Meeting Great Saints

When he was thirteen, he used to go in the evenings to a certain house which belonged to Mr. Pillai, whose nephew and son-in-law tutored him in mathematics. One evening he entered Pillai's house as usual and found himself face to face with a venerable, sturdy man of about sixty years, clean shaven and with closely cropped silver gray hair, wearing a half sleeved shirt and loin cloth, sitting cross-legged on a bench. The room smelled of incense. "Hello!" said the old man in Malayalam, "Come, come don't be afraid. "Mumtaz Ali (M) walked up to him. The man patted his back and caressed his neck and head and said, "Hmmn! Good! Everything will be all right in good time." Again the breathless condition and greater bliss. 'M' stood up and went straight home. The guidance had begun. He was the first of the great souls 'M' was to meet in the course of his spiritual journey.

Much later 'M' came to know that the man was a great self-realised soul who lived in Advait Bhava and was simply called Pujapura Swami since he lived in Pujapura. He had worked as a clerk in the Accountant General's Office until retirement and was a householder. In his youth he had been initiated into Vedantic practices by a great teacher and ever since had lived a model life, his heart absorbed in the blissful, Supreme Brahman while be performed his duties like an ordinary mortal. 'M' also learnt that the Swami used to hold midnight Satsangs on certain days . A great sanyasin, ,who had renounced even his loin cloth, would sometimes attend. Pujapura Swami was not known outside a small circle because he forbade propaganda. When 'M was seventeen, the sanyasin was no more, but a friend handed over a compilation of his teachings to ( which was privately circulated) to 'M'. It contained the essence of Vedanta in very simple language.

By then, the knowledge that 'M' needed from time to time as he progressed on the path began to come to him automatically. His father borrowed B.K.S. Iyengar's Light on Yoga from a friend of his (his father was never an orthodox Muslim). 'M' read it through. A yoga teacher, Sri Sharma, gave him his initial lessons on Yogasanas and Surya Namaskars. 'M' met Swami Tapasyananda( the a direct disciple of Shree Sarada Devi) of the Sri Ramakrishna Mission. He was then the Head of the Sri Ramakrishna Mission at Trivandrum. The librarian at the Trivandrum Public Library kept 'M' well supplied with the works of Swami Vivekananda. He chanced to read Swami Chinmayananda's Japa Yoga and Gayatri and he began to chant the Gayatri Mantra. A Tantric instructed him in certain mantras and lent him Arthur Avalon's "Serpent Power." He read many other books- the Upanishads, the Gita, Yogic texts and Vedanta included. He discovered that Sanskrit was not too difficult to understand. Side by side with gaining theoretical knowledge, he mediated for long hours, especially at midnight. He had merely to shut his eyes and concentrate on the lotus of the heart to enter into Keval Kumbhak and experience tremendous bliss and extraordinary visions of divine lights and voices. Sometimes terrifying visions would flit across his mind but they would pass and he would once again be filled with ecstasy. Then he met a great person known as Chempazanthi Swami. The Jesuits had started their first Loyola Junior College at Sreekaryam in Trivandrum and 'M' was among the first batch of pre-degree students. A few kilometers away was the remote village of Chempazanthi which is the birth place of Sri Narayana Guru, the great reformer saint. Close to Chempazanthi is Chenkotkonam, where the Swami lived. He was a tea shop owner turned saint. A great bhakta of Rama, he was known to have lived like Hanuman for a long time, eating nuts and climbing trees. He was fond of bhajans and kirtans. When 'M' met him he was thin and frail and very delicate looking. Crowning his ever smiling face was a great chunk of wound up matted hair and he smelled of Vibhuti. Taking a pinch of ash, he touched 'M''s forehead with it, popped a couple of grapes into his mouth and said, Hmmn!, needs to ripen, will ripen. Do bhajan's. 'M' mediated for a few minutes, prostrated and left the place. Those days 'M' had a close Brahmin friend whose father worshipped Sai Baba of Shirdi. The moment 'M' saw Baba's picture, an irresistible desire to know about Baba's life arose in him. The next day Mr. Subramanya Iyer, an advocate, who was his friend's landlord, gave him copy of the "Life of Sai Baba of Shirdi by Narasimha Swamiji." Then he lent 'M' Sai Sat Charita. 'M' fell in love with the great Faqir. At this time 'M' heard from a friend of his who was a medical student (he is now a neuro surgeon) about a lady Avadhuta called Maayi Maa, who lived on the Kanyakumari beach. She was reputed to be over a hundred years old and no one could say where she came from or what language she spoke. The few words she said sounded very much like Bengali.

'M' went to see her alone. Kanyakumari is close to Trivandrum. He reached Kanyakumari around 1PM He had walked just a few minutes from the bus stand when a young man came up to him and said " Mayi Amma is on the beach near the entrance to the Devi Temple". 'M' hurried towards the spot climbing over a low wall, walked across the rocky beach and there she was. A woman who looked to be in her sixties, she wore absolutely no clothes, her face a typically Bengali face, glowing, ageless, eyes smiling. She sat on one of the rocks with a circle of street dogs around her forming a security ring. The dogs snarled when they saw 'M'. Maayi Maa scolded them using peculiar sounds and they dispersed and sat at a distance. She motioned to 'M' to sit down. He sat down on a rock. She pointed to the bananas that he had with him and said something. He gave her the bananas. She fed the dogs some, ate two herself and returned a few to him. He closed his eyes and tried to tune in with her vibrations. After a long time he opened his eyes. She was still there, smiling broadly, she said, "Jao, jao, thik…" The last word could not be made out. When Paramahamas say "Go" one has no business to stay, so 'M' prostrated and came away. After visiting the Vivekananda Rock, 'M' returned to Trivandrum. He was made aware of the significance of Maayi Maa's darshan the following morning. Tired after meditating for a long time in the night, he could not bring himself to be up at dawn. As he slept deeply he had a wonderful and vivid dream. In the dream he was a mendicant with matted hair and wearing only a kaupin, sitting in padmasana and mediating under a Banyan tree which stood in the middle of a junction where four paths crossed each other. The jungle all around was thick. A faint sound made him open his eyes, and from one of the paths he saw Maayi approaching with a stick in her hand. She was huge, much larger than life size. Reaching, the place where he sat she touched his chin and said, "Give me something to eat". He told her, "Maayi Maa, I have only two grains of parched rice hidden in my matted hair" She said, "Give me." Without hesitation he gave the rice to her. She said to him, "Are you hungry?" He said "Yes, but you eat it Maa" She ate with great relish and turning to him said, "Your hunger is for a different thing. Close your eyes."He closed his eyes. She pressed the middle of his forehead hard with what seemed to be her thumb. An ocean of bliss filled his whole being with its center in the forehead. Every cell of his being was suffused with it. He lost his body consciousness. Only the other existed. Then he woke up. The dream vanished, but O! how fortunate! The bliss remained. He was like a drunken man who had had his fill. Slowly he sat up and stretched his legs and carefully went to the bathroom, afraid that he would fall. In a few minutes he got full control over his body and mind but the stream of bliss continued in the core of his being. It has since remained with him. At times low, at times high, but always there.

Already acquainted with the teachings of the Sufis by attending meetings of local Sufi groups and meeting some of the Amirs of the different Tariqats, he went at last to a gem among Sufis. That was Kaladi Mastan who lived naked on the beach near Bimapalli in Trivandrum. He was drinking a cup of tea given by a follower when 'M' first saw him. He smiled and gave 'M' the rest of the tea. Then he said, "Big thief came to steal the treasure. Take it legitimately." Then he lit a cigarette and said 'Smoke'. 'M' smoked. Then he took it back. 'M' sat and mediated before him. He covered M's head with sand and further cleared the conduits. He behaved like a mad man and many even thought he was mad, but he was a priceless gem and the few who were serious knew. He is physically no more now. Many visit his tomb. Not very far from there lived Poontharasami, another God intoxicated person with matted hair, who was mistaken by many to be a madman. When 'M' visited him, he suddenly stood up and kicked 'M' on his chest. That was a timely kick. It cleared the passage through which the mighty energy travels. When 'M' went to thank him a month later, he had vanished, nobody knew where. An impressive looking fraud, who claimed to have been his closest disciple, tried to influence 'M'. The poor chap did not realize that 'M' could read him like an open book.

Wandering in Himalayas

When he was twenty, 'M' made up his mind to go to the Himalayas. First he went to Madras by train, spent sometime in the Theosophical Society, then took a train to Delhi. From Delhi he went to Hardwar. From Hardwar he decided to walk. All the money was finished. He had no intention of writing back home for help or even to let them know where he was. He knew he would be looked after, that the minimum needs of the body would be taken care of by the great powers that run the Universe, and he was right. Of course at certain times, he was tested thoroughly but in the end everything was fine. On foot he covered the entire journey from Rishikesh to Uttarkashi, to Gangotri, Yamunotri, from Batwari to Kedar via Buda Kedar, then to Badrinath and back to Rishikesh.He stayed in various ashrams for some time, studying, meditating, and learning. He met many interesting sadhus of various sects and some great souls too. He was fascinated by the special Himalayan environment, so conducive to meditation and learnt to respect the sacred river but he had to come down to the plains reluctantly. He decided to go back again. He had hoped to meet the master again and perhaps, he thought, it would be possible the next time.

Stay at Ramakrishna Mission

Proceeding straight to Bombay (he still does not know why he particularly chose that commercial city) he met the President of the Ramakrishna Mission at Khar,- Swami Hiranmayananda- and requested him to take him on as a Brahmachari of the Ramakrishna Order. He was accepted. He kept his Muslim identity a secret although he knew that the Mission had nothing against Muslims joining the monastic order. The main reason was that he wanted to live just like the others with not a hint of discrimination. He learnt plenty. The discipline helped him to mature. He also got the golden opportunity to read much of the Ramakrishna-Vivekananda literature and meet some of the stalwarts of the Order like Swami Ranganathananda and Swami Tapasyananda. (Many years later Swami Tapasyananda initiated him into the Ramkrishna mantra, but by then he was not a member of the Ramakrishna order.)

After three years, he left the Mission and went to Bananas. There he decided to investigate the workings of the Anand Marg. He had already met Mr. P.R.Sarkar who called himself Ananda Murtiji and 'M' wished to learn more about the movement. At Bananas he joined their training center. Within a month he found what was going on and quietly slipped out, took a train to Hardwar and from there to Rishikesh.Back in the Himalayas, he decided to stay in the Divine Life Society and continue his studies and mediation. It is a lovely place for Sadhaks. The Ganges flows nearby. Yoga is taught in the Ashram. The Senior Swamis are a great help and when one has time, one can wander around and meet Sadhus of various sects. Satsang is most important for a Sadhak.

In Search of the Master

That pilgrim season found 'M' walking again to Badrinath sometimes on the common pilgrim routes, sometimes through forests, staying in roadside dharmashala and chattis and many a time in forest hermitages beside the river. He gathered much food for the soul. Reaching Badrinath after many days journey, he first slept in the choultry, It was quiet and his single blanket was insufficient, but he was in no mood to seek help. Those were the days when the fire of spirituality burned so bright that everything else, even the bare necessities food, clothes and shelter melted into insignificance. A highly intoxicating, ecstatic mood came over him in the great Himalayas. He attributed this, as also his intense sadhana to the presence of highly evolved beings in these regions. He hoped to meet some of them.

His physical difficulties were solved by the arrival of a Brahmachari whom he had met in the Divine Life Society. He was an experienced pilgrim who had traveled many times. Quickly he found 'M' an independent kutir and persuaded him to stay there. He also got 'M' a couple of blankets and a wooden plank to sleep on, he also arranged with the Nepali dharmashala for his food. He introduced 'M' to the Rawalji, the chief priest of Badrinath, and took him on a sort of conducted tour on most evenings. In Badrinath as in other pilgrim centers, there were beggars wearing saffron, others wearing the holy robes to make a living, even sadhus who stole kamandalus and blankets from each other. Genuine yogis and paramahamas also existed side by side, mingling with the common crows and often deliberately pretending to be one of them. Eager to see more of such souls and learning that they lived beyond Badrinath and on the other side of Narayan Parvat, 'M' decided to travel further. Without informing anyone, one morning he started off with his kamadalu, staff and blanket. He had earlier explored about a kilometer of that road on his previous visit to Badrinath but beyond that the territory was unknown. After about six or seven kilometers of difficult climbing, he reached the confluence of the Saraswati, and the Alakananda, called Keshav Prayag. Close to this is a cave, which an old sanyasin had once told him was the Vyasa Guha. Beyond Vyasa Guha he could not proceed. A strange force seemed to make his feet heavy. His heart overflowed with bliss but his legs would not move away from the cave. He took this as a signal and walked into the cave. Inside it was not as cold as it was outside. From there he could see the neighboring snow clad peaks. Spreading the blanket, he sat in Padmasan and went into a deep meditative state. He must have sat in this state for a long time because when he opened his eyes it was evening and darkness was fast approaching. Right there before him stood the being that he had seen just once before when he was a boy but the evidence of whose guidance he had felt all through his life. He was more than father, mother or beloved and at that instance he realized that he was his guide and master. The man before him was a very fair, young man with long hair, almost beardless and he was smiling, what a wonderful sight! M's hair stood on end and he laughed, his eyes filled with tears. "No place for hysterics," said the calm voice, this time in English. He stroked M's shoulders. Back in control 'M' touched his feet. He sat down near 'M' and right into the night and till dawn the next day the teaching and discussions went on. "M' received all that he needed.

At sunrise the master bade him farewell and walked out, promising to keep in touch with M's psyche whenever 'M' needed him and to appear again physically when M's life on earth would be nearing completion. This meeting thoroughly overhauled his thought process and brought about a lasting change in his consciousness. M would have followed his Master willingly. But his Mater deflected him from that course. He advised M to go back to plains, join the throng of humanity; he was to be in the world but not of the world without losing the Bliss that was to be his forever.

Living in the World

A new phase of his life began. He continued to travel yet it was not the traveling of an aimless wanderer. He strictly adhered to his Master's advise to look at the world from close quarters without being blinded by the brightness of its transient pleasures. He did a stint as a journalist which brought him in contact with many eminent people. A year was spent in the Andamans in the capacity of a resident editor of a daily. He wrote political commentaries, short stories and articles on various topics. And he became a trustee of the Krishnamurti Foundation two years before J.Krishnamurti passed away.

His association with J.Krishnamurti was not accidental; His Master had told him to meet this maverick sage. M had earlier heard Krishnamurti's lectures in Chennai and elsewhere and had also read most of his books. So, when he finally met him at the Foundation headquarters in Chennai, M was not altogether ignorant of the renowned iconoclast. He had a private discussion with him lasting half an hour, which resulted in his staying at the Foundation with the hearty approval of Krishnamurti himself.

M was strictly adhering to his Master's advice; M's association with Krishnamurti was to be a further learning process. Theirs was an association of mutual understanding and love. M was made the trustee of the Krishnamurti Foundation and he gave up the trusteeship 3 years after Krishnamurti's death.

His Master had also told him that Krishnamurti was to be the last of the many teachers whom he was to meet. M did not then understand the implication of the prophecy. Now, he understands. It was at the Foundation that he met his future wife, Sunanda, a Saraswat Brahmin whose family hails from Udipi. He now understood the significance of his Master's words : “Be in the world but not of the world.” To be in the world, one has to fulfil the duties of a householder as well. M married Sunanda; token apprehensions of such a marriage were easily overcome. They remain happily married and have a son and daughter.

After marriage and leaving the Foundation, he and his wife ran a free school for the poor and backward people of Rayalpad, a small village in Karnataka. Under the Foundation's aegis, the school ran for over nine years. By then he was being sought by many for guidance in their spiritual journey and he began to find it an onerous task to manage the school and at the same time, attend to the needs of his friends. He gave up the school but not without making arrangement for handing it over to a new management.

Ever since, he has remained a beacon light to many who have been tossing about in spiritual darkness. Today, he is a highly welcome speaker at many fora in India and abroad, though he prefers to have smaller groups of people to share his wisdom with. With this view, he has set up the Satsang Foundation, the aim of which is to act as a meeting point for spiritual seekers of all persuasions. This may be the primary aim or function, but M has underscored an equally important function for the Foundation; that of extending a helping hand to the less privilged of our society, like the destitute old. For as he emphasizes, unless spirituality is buttressed with seva, selfless service to others, it will be self-defeating. With this in mind M started two free schools for rural underprivileged children which are providing education to children in remote areas of Madanapalle and Siriguntalapuram. The Foundation also carries on other activities for providing help and succor and promoting inter religious harmony.

If this life sketch falls short of doing complete justice to M, it can be added that his life echoes the words of Dante, "The purpose of whole (work) is to remove those who are living in this life from a state of wretchedness and lead them to a state of blessedness."