When I was with Maheshwarnath Babaji, in Arundhati cave he had given me some practices to do. and i kept on practicing them, but not to my satisfaction. I tried my best, I can say, but nothing seemed to be properly happening.
Some people come to me after doing Chakra Dharana aur Kriya, and say, Sir, the bindu is going only up to here and it is going down. Or one came here and it went up on the right side and so on. Same thing was happening to me also. Something not going up, not coming down, not going this way, not as I wanted. So I thought, I will try my best and so for 6-8 months I tried very hard, but no result.
One day I was doing my kriya, trying to raise the bindu up through the sushumna. It had hardly come to the swadhisthana, when Babaji came and tapped on my shoulder. I opened my eyes and thought he was going to say, let’s move as that was the best part of the journey. Instead of that, he said, kya kar kya rahe ho what are you doing? I said Babaji i am doing kriya…this is the kriya! what is this going on?…try hard!
I said I have been trying so hard that for a few days I didn’t even eat anything. I have been trying very hard and it’s not working. What should I do?
He said, ‘The problem is you are saying that I am doing!’
So what should I do?
Babaji said, I am going to tell you something what rarely should be done, but by a proper person with great devotion. It is called Guru Yoga.
Close your eyes and think that you are not existing. You have dissolved. You are broken to pieces and have disappeared. You have become bhasma, blown away by the wind. Make a vacuum like there is nothing there. You are gone.
I said, that is not so difficult for me to think about. So I did. It was not difficult for me.
Then he said, now instead of you, visualize that I am sitting.
I said, Babaji, that would be disrespectful. In this place, how can I make you sit?
He said, you do as I say. Don’t make noise. Don’t argue.
So, instead of me, instead of small M, I visualised the big M. Maheshwarnath Babaji.
I said to myself, since he has given me permission, let me think, I am not there, but he is sitting here, and doing whatever.
So, I got that whole thing properly done. Babaji sitting with his matted hair, Sushmuna nadi, Id and pingala on both sides and there was the Big Lotus. I am nowhere in the picture.
And I simply said, my mantra and woooosh It went off.
For one and a half days I did not know that I was sitting there.
After one and a half days I heard somebody shouting loudly in my ear, Hari Om and I got up.
Bābāji said, kya hua? I said, Bābāji, mujhe lagta hai jo hona so ho gaya.
He said, go have a bath in the Ganga. Snan karke aao. baad me baat karenge
Had a bath, came back, and he said, this is what is taught as guru-yoga.
When you encounter difficulties in your meditation practices, forget that you are the person who is doing it. Think that, Babaji, your guru is sitting with you.
So I asked him, will that have any effect on you? And any karma from me will affect you.
He said, are you joking?
So, this is Guru Yoga and it is very simple.
Get rid of you. Once you somehow manage to practice that, you are able to make yourself disappear and think that Bābājī is sitting in front of you. Then do your kriyā, do your meditation, do your japa, do whatever you are doing. I can assure you, very fast and very soon, whatever has to happen, will happen. jo hona hai so hoga.
Meditate on the teacher, but listen to the teaching.
Certain amount of discipline is required. Especially, listen to the words that the teacher is saying and act accordingly. If you don’t, no matter if you do your kriya in sirsasana, nothing will happen. keep this in mind.
Your true freedom lies in yourself, but somehow the teacher also has the key.
-Sri M
[This is an extract from the Guru Purnima Evening Satsang on 21 July 2024.]
